||[Oct. 24th, 2015|10:41 am]
So, C's sister is pregnant. We found out last Sunday at a family dinner. When I heard the news, I knew C would be upset, but he held it together until his mom said let's do a celebratory shot and he had four. We came home and sat on the porch and I asked him questions to get him to talk about it. He said he was so upset about it that he said could weep.|
C's sister isn't married, and that's the problem, at least for him. She's engaged, has bought a house with her partner, is getting married in 2016 (now with the baby in attendance!), so this isn't like a random one-night stand. But she'd young (and is a young young) which is my concern. She's 27 but some days acts 21, others 17. Never her actual age or presumed matirity. She's the only girl, the youngest child and has always been a bit of a princess. I don't give into this weird family dynamic, but on the whole she's oddly treated differently and spoiled.
C is very pure about things; I've always known this. This is why he proposed the weekend you came into town, Nicole (side note: loved that weekend x infinity) because we were moving in together the following weekend and the ring didn't come until that Thursday from the jewelry designer. You don't live together without being engaged to be married, you don't have kids until you're married, you establish your marriage solidly before having kids and so on.
When we talked after his sister's news, he explained to me a little more about where this comes from. Because C is the most laid-back, relaxed and accepting person I know, so I was asking him where this purity and rigidity came from. He told me about talks with his Grampa (who in his life was his father-figure) who told him at a really young age how life would be different for him and the best possible ways to show up in the world to mitigate these differences. This includes working harder than anyone you know, how to dress properly, not having kids when you're not married, always being polite, treating marriage respectfully and so on. C is very traditional, vey old-school and it's one of the things I appreciate and value the most from him, actually.
So with his sister being pregnant, he's settling into things. We've talked about it a lot and he's moved from wanting to cry to knowing that when there's a newly-born baby in the world, he's going to have it nap on his chest and life will be okay. Not having years and years of history with someone is sometimes a bit scary to me, because I don't know how exactly they will react in situations that we've never encountered together. But in hindsight, this situation was no different than the others we've tackled together. Key word: TOGETHER.
But, I do have to admit, deep down, I was a little sad that I wasn't the one who was pregnant. It would have been not the right timing for 50 million reasons (namely see C's purity on these things above) but I'm starting to think about babies and having them someday. It's thrilling to think of.